My theme to live by for 2019 was simplify and heal. Little did I know just how much simplifying things in my life would directly effect my capacity to heal. Upon the arrival of fall and reflecting on the this year it has revealed that it was successful and many benefits emerged from this process.
In order to understand the theme I chose for 2019 you would have to know a bit about my 2018. It was a year of my highest high and my lowest low. I got engaged and married my soul mate and I lost the person dearest to my heart, my mother. She was truly a best friend to me. We spent so much time together over the years. It’s truly a rare thing to be such good friends with your mother and I was so fortunate. It’s hard to explain how such wonderful and terrible things happening in the same year can even be reconciled in one’s heart and mind. It was a true paradox.
How to heal from such a terrible loss is complicated and different for everyone. You don’t really heal. You just learn how to have a new normal. I am not saying it’s all bad. You can even find a way to be happy. The universe gave me the blessing of having a supportive husband and amazing family and friends to lean on. Thank you universe! As 2018 was coming to a close I had a calling in my heart for a major change. I could not settled on one thing to focus on that I thought would make a difference. That is how “Simplify” and “Heal” became a theme to live by. I used it as a decision point. Whatever I spent time doing needed to align with simplifying my life or I would never be in a place to heal.
The journey began with decluttering my closet and home. It started with removing clothing, shoes, purses and other physical objects from my living space so I could deal with the emotional clutter that happens with grief. I also trimmed out scheduling too much to do and left some blank days to rest and do nothing at all. That was hard and taught me a lot about myself. It has been a wonderfully rewarding yet terribly hard journey. I created a capsule wardrobe, started a blog and even changed jobs in the spirit of simplifying my life. I have stayed true to my theme all year. I have what feels like a new life altogether. Bags upon bags of clothes, appliances, nick knacks and household goods have been given away to charity. I’ve had yard sales and sold items online. It has opened up so much space in my life and has allowed room for healing that I needed. It has given me time and space to deal with emotions and mental clutter. It has given me space to deal with my grief. My goal was to make room for all the beautiful memories and to honor the life I am blessed with while making more memories with loved ones.
I do not miss one thing I removed from my home. I do still miss my Mom. Simplifying my life has given me a calm and peaceful environment that allows me to take time for sitting with memories. Before simplifying, my mind was always full of long to-do lists that made it more difficult to deal with grief. Please know it doesn’t have to be grief that inspires you to create a less cluttered and simple life. Everyone will have their own reason they are inspired to bring order to their life to deal with the hectic demands of today’s world. It is a way to take control instead of letting the outside world control you.
Even with all of those items removed from my home I still have a long way to go. I still have a garage full of clutter to go through. But now I have hope. I know what the end result can be. I feel the difference it makes when you cherish your memories instead of the mementos. I have built new memories, stopped buying meaningless things and stopped saying yes to everything that demands my time. I am not saying I will get rid of every sentimental trinket but this journey has taught me how to know which things truly matter and let go of the rest.
I love the saying by Patrick Lencioni, “When everything is important, then nothing is.” That one saying has guided me through this process. When I look around my living space I want all that I see to matter. When I look around the space of my mind I want all that I think about to matter. And when I look around the space of my heart I want it to feel happy and full of what matters. Simplify and Heal has given me that.
I still have almost three months left to “Simplify” and “Heal” before deciding what theme is right for 2020. Maybe I will need to continue that theme. One thing is for sure, it is not an overnight project. I am excited to end the year strong and proud of all that I accomplished. I urge anyone struggling with controlling the chaos that bombards us daily to consider simplifying your life and removing the physical and mental clutter that holds you back.
Enjoy the journey and always be true to yourself!
~Jen